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So there must be something going on with young men these days. But he explained that it starts out fun, but before you know it they're dragging you into Baby Gap via the jeweller's, which these men just aren't ready for.

It's well known that people are marrying later and later: the average age for a man is 32 and a woman 30.

Towards the end of a 60th birthday party, I felt an arm slink around my waist. I knew he'd broken up with his girlfriend and thought he wanted some advice from Agony Aunt Amanda.

I turned to see the son of a friend - an affectionate hug from a lovely young man I'd known for a decade and had watched grow up. He smokes, so I suggested we go outside while he had a cigarette, but he said no, he wanted to come home with me and talk privately.

He started blathering about how he'd always fancied me, surely I knew and that's why he wanted to come home with me. I was stunned and reminded him he was 25 years younger than me, that I was old enough to be his mother. I said I was flattered, tried not to hurt his feelings and paid for the taxi to take him back to his own home.

Now, I'm not vain enough to think the common denominator is me being sexually irresistible, and as far as I know I don't have 'cougar' - the slang term for grown women who pursue toyboys - written on my forehead.

At first I thought he was just being chatty, then it became clear - to my astonishment - he was chatting me up.

He wanted to take me to dinner back in London, to bed, to heaven.

Not so their female counterparts, who by this point are keen to stop wasting time, their biological clocks ticking ever more loudly.

And so, says Smedley, these men go for much younger women who haven't got round to thinking about such things - or women significantly older who 'they still find very attractive' and who have already had children or decided they didn't want them.'Young women often view men as success objects (ie defined and rated by how much they earn and own) - and there's less chance of that with a more mature woman who, chances are, has already attained her own success.

'They're always told to be the sort of men women want them to be - providers, committed, solvent, successful - so I like the idea of them going their own way and not playing the game,' he says.

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