Over the years, I've gotten better at relating to people in real life, but I still struggle occasionally. Vina, and it's basically Tinder for making friends.
So when I heard about a friendship app, I was intrigued. I had heard about it from my improv classmate Ali (I had started taking improv classes to help me socialize more) and she said she used it to meet new people when she moved to the Bay Area a few months ago.
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"There was this new era of social media like Facebook, where it's more about maintaining existing relationships instead of making new ones."She tried to make friends through OK Cupid, but because the site is predominantly designed for dating, she had a lot of rejections, though she did make a few female friends here and there. They were onto something, Poole thought, so she decided to turn to technology and scale out the idea as an app."Part of the difficulty around making friends as adults is that you fall out of practice," said Miriam Kirmayer, a Ph. candidate at Mc Gill University in Montreal who specializes in emerging adult friendships.
Inspired by the need for more social gatherings for women, she and a girlfriend started a monthly "Ladies Who Vino" social event, where women from all over the city are invited to gather, drink wine and socialize. "When we're younger, there are playdates, and it's easy to access a social network of people who are the same age as us or who might have similar interests. Tinder Social is a way for groups of friends to get together be they male or female, Bumble has a BFF mode that matches you with friends instead of potential mates, Atleto is an app that helps you find a workout buddy and there are many more. On my way back to the office, there was a slight spring in my step.
I have just a handful of female friends, most of whom have either moved away or simply graduated to a different chapter of their lives.
In fact, maybe it's because of the bullying I suffered in high school, but female friendships have always eluded me. At the same time, I've always envious of close female friendships.
The idea of a girls' night out is completely foreign to me. I didn't have a bachelorette party before my wedding (because I have no female besties) and I feel like I missed out.
Having a girlfriend you could just call or text and talk over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine seemed nice.
Really, I've always just wanted to find the Jane Lane to my Daria Morgendorffer.
So, a few weeks ago, I took the plunge and signed up for Hey! I hemmed and hawed over what I would write in my profile, but decided to just be honest. According to Poole, the profiles I see are based on an algorithm that matches my age, location, quiz results and "some special Vina magic."I'm actually not too picky about the kinds of people I'm friends with -- I don't really care if we're total opposites or interested in totally different things -- so I ended up swiping right on most people. So I went back and tinkered with it, updating my photo with a more recent image and filling in my profile with more details. So I followed up with a simple "Hey, do you want to grab coffee? Deflated, I went on with my day, wondering if this thing was a waste of time.
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