Sarah had gone through the same range of emotions Kate is now experiencing."It's gut-wrenching.
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I feel the family isn't complete without her." Kate and others who feel gender disappointment describe it as a guilt-ridden, debilitating depression."Unless someone has that desire themselves and feels how it can be all-consuming, they can't understand what it's like," she says."It'd be so easy if I could just switch it off and just be happy."Gender selection is not allowed in Australia, but an ethics committee of the National Health and Medical Research Council has been reviewing the guidelines for assisted reproductive technology and may make a recommendation for change."To you she doesn't exist yet, but to us we can't imagine a life without her," Kate wrote in her submission to the committee."It's really a personal decision and it's not going to hurt people the way that people seem to think it is."It's not going to affect the gender ratio, and it's not going to place these unrealistic ideas on the children that are being born."With gender selection unavailable to couples in Australia, many hoping for a certain sex try to sway the gender of the child by using specific sexual positions and timing intercourse.
The science of so-called gender "swaying" has never been proven, but many still try it.
For Townsville mother-of-four Sarah Williams, it was the price she had to pay to get the family balance she wanted.
Sarah has two boys, aged nine and seven, and four-year-old twin girls."I will talk to people and they go, 'Oh you're so lucky you got the two boys and then you got the two girls', and I will go, 'No, luck had nothing to do with that.
Several other women had agreed to be interviewed by Lateline, then changed their minds over concerns they would be targeted on social media for their views.
Kate suffers from what is known as gender disappointment.I had to do some extreme measures to get my girls'," she says.After having two boys, Sarah went to California, where gender selection is allowed, to go through an IVF cycle and be implanted only with the female embryos it produced.How seriously you take that concept probably goes a long way to determining how you feel about whether Australia should legalise gender selection — the use of IVF to get the baby of your desired sex.Gender disappointment is not a medically recognised condition.Our local leaders will introduce you to rice farmers in Sapa and fishermen on the Mekong Delta.