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I think people should go out with the people they are attracted to.We don't call Demi Moore a cougar — we just think of her as beautiful, famous, talented, and with good taste. But I don't think that attraction is all about how you look. And if you pick somebody who you feel good with, your friends will be happy for you. You will be around someone who shares your passions, and have a lot to discuss.So if you really like this guy, at some point you should open up more of your world to him. But I think most of the things that apply to heterosexual relationships have resonance with same-sex relationships.

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Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.

Taking a walk, for example, can put a lot of pressure on two people who have just met. Question from Jeannie from Cleveland: My 22-year-old son lives in the house and I want to date. You might meet your early dates outside the house, or not bring them to the house unless the relationship is becoming more important. I don't think it's fair, but it's probably true that gray hair is a signal to men that a woman is older and he may or may not like her ability to embrace her own aging in that way. There are also sites that are primarily about friendship or finding someone to do things with. However, if you are conservative about sexuality, try and date someone who is also conservative about sexuality, and wants a deeper commitment first.

And quite a few men want somebody who has had life experience like their own. » Question from Catherine: I'm too busy to actively date.

A teenage daughter, a 60-hour-work week, a full slate of volunteer/local board responsibilities, and a garden that still hasn't been planted. Would love some advice on how to prioritize my love life. PS: Let the garden go — it can come back next year.

I'm trying to find someone who will accept me and my kids. Question from Betty: What attracts a mature male to a mature woman once the hormones have stopped?

PS: He likes her wisdom, her energy, her self-knowledge, her acceptance of him.

On the other hand, if you went with a buddy, you could have fun even if there was nobody interesting there.

So if you have a friend who will make any trip interesting no matter what, then give it a shot.

Question from Janet: I don't even know where to begin. Almost all activities have either singles groups or mixed groups of singles and married people who are all devoted to the activity at hand.

But remember, if you don't find someone interesting in the group, you should leave — don't get stuck in a place where there is no opportunity to meet someone.

You can find an age mate, or you could find someone who really doesn't care about age.

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