I go on a lot of dates, given the fact that I live in a hugely populated city, have a library of apps available to me, and actually But just like it’s easy to get over-excited for a first date, it’s also so easy to fear them — and I understand that.For a lot of people, the simple act of meeting a new person and having a conversation with them is an incredible feat.
I’ve gotten used to friends and family pointing out every semi-attractive guy at the bar, urging me to to go talk to them. But I’m also not in the camp of people who see them as hell on earth. But I’m way over seeing every first date scenario as a possibility of meeting “The One” — and not just because I don’t believe that there is “One” person for everyone.
But the one thing that continues to bother me to this day is how some people react when I tell them I have a first date. For me, a first date serves one single purpose — to get to know someone over two drinks maximum in order to see whether or not I want to hang out with them more. (That’s another topic for another day…)To a lot of people, this may read as cynical. I used to get excited over every single first date I went on.
"The idea of the book is that the changing nature of our expectations of marriage have made more marriages fall short of expectations, and therefore disappoint us," he said.
He explained that the relentless pursuit of such an idealistic pairing will put a strain on that relationship's propensity for long term success.
I was cutting them off at the legs before I even got a chance to know them.
And in my experience, when I did get the rush of butterflies on the first date, the guy in question would turn out to be a total jerk.
The conversation usually goes like this: Someone asks what I’m up to after work or over the weekend, and I let them know that I have a date in the same tone of voice I’d say that I’m headed to the dentist. I’d spend time picking out my outfit, imaging what we’d talk about, and reading into the place he chose to meet.
I genuinely enjoy meeting new people, and the prospect of meeting and getting to know someone who could potentially turn into my partner was nothing short of exhilarating.
They were just an excuse for me to meet someone who I seemed to click with, and to figure out whether I liked that person enough to go out with them again.
Once I started doing this, the craziest thing started to happen: I found myself getting to know the guy I was out with much better than I had in the past.
The problem with this kind of excitement is that it leads to heightened expectations.