And if everything else was the same, is that difference because her skin was white?
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I wouldn't want to be with someone who discounts me because of my race, I don't want to be with someone who is prejudiced.
But I think a lot of people aren't meaning to be prejudiced, and don't realize they hold these unconscious biases and that they don't notice they don't swipe right on the people of colour.
Describe what happened when you first tried online dating?
The first time I put up my profile I got a trickle of messages.
Even Beyonce, who is a beautiful black woman has lighter skin and almost blonde hair that is wavy.
I have 4b afro and dark skin, and growing up as a child, I didn't see that anywhere so I didn't have messaging that told me I was attractive or that I could be beautiful.You also write that the elevation of white beauty is not limited to white people... We tend to prize beauty that is closer to white beauty.No, so we have shadism and colourism in the black community. You often hear people say that bi-racial kids are "so cute", I've said it myself, but it's based on the fact that light skin is prized.I wanted to be able to answer that question when people said, 'maybe it's her features' or something about Jessica's face that made her more popular so I used my face and Photoshop and some online apps and a wig to give myself blonde hair, blue eyes and white skin, but all my features remain the same.Then I put that profile up, and she was actually more popular than Jessica and I. I expected my white profiles to get more attraction and get more hits, but I thought it'd be two or three times more, not seven or twelve times.And my experience was different than the ones my friends and people I overheard at the coffee shops and bars were having. And I had a suspicion that my blackness was playing a role.