In other words, there’s no reason for her to be intimidating.She doesn’t use it as a tool to suppress others (even though that’s how others often take it).– Alexis I got lots of questions about that from both men and women.
A lot of things are part of who you are: Mini exercise: What are some things you are good at?
Spend a few minutes to think about it, write it down if you want more clarity.
You don’t want to look at these weaknesses from a bully’s perspective, but from a compassionate’s perspective: When I give this advice to my program participants, many instantly reply that “but the person I’m intimidated by doesn’t seem to have any weaknesses”.
But when I ask them to probe deeper, they’re surprised to find a lot. Mini exercise: It’s hard to think about shortcomings when we’re standing eye to eye with someone who intimidates us.
First of all, here are two changes in mindset we need to understand: Few walk around in life trying to intimidate others.
Often, they don’t even understand that they are intimidating.Instead, spend a moment right now to think about a specific person who intimidates you and what that person’s shortcomings might be.Remember to view that person’s shortcomings from a compassionate perspective.Who we are is made up of hundreds, perhaps thousands of traits.Therefore, it’s statistically sound to assume that there’s something (or several things) that you are better at than the intimidating person.Being intimidating doesn’t help her social life, quite the contrary.