On appearances: MICHAEL HURWITZ spent six years in Shanghai doing the little things to help bridge the cultural and linguistic gap between China and the West.
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Once I asked a girl what she wanted to do for the date and she just never responded!
It’s also commonplace to bring a friend along, but not for a double date – it’s more like a chaperon, buffer or safety net.
The same girl I mentioned before – her parents’ marriage was arranged by her father's commanding officer in the military, and I’d occasionally ask her, do you really think you should take dating advice from people who’ve never dated?
What this often leads to is heavy parental involvement in relationships and dating.
Think about it: when you consider what to do in terms of relationships, don’t you use your parents’ marriage and/or relationships as a reference point?
If your parents and other family members married out of convenience rather than romance, there isn’t a lot to help guide you when trying to find a romantic partner you really click with.
So we’ve gotten a few questions lately about dating in China.
It’s an interesting topic that hits on a lot of key cultural touchpoints, so I want to take a few minutes to talk about this.
In fact, I once dated a girl who would only meet up at places that her parents AND grandmother had pre-approved; as you can imagine none of these places were very fun.
Your lady’s generation may well be the first to have that freedom of romantic choice, and that's something you need to keep in mind while making your decisions for your relationship – there simply isn't a ton of cultural precedent for her to fall back on.
Even the nuts-and-bolts process of dating can be wildly different in China.