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It was a revelation: "I could In June 2008, when Apple unveiled the i Phone 3G, it blew the mind of every techie in this country.The app store meant that there was suddenly a new industry out there—a thousand new industries.

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Some grinders were as genteel as the ladies at a book club; some wanted true love, others new friendship.

This subculture was populated with all sorts of people—like any community.

My deep misunderstanding of Chat was that it was meant to be witty, an actual conversation. Over the months, I learned the mysteries of this strange realm: its customs, its argot, and its social hierarchies.

But eventually I realized that the "Sup" people were not cavemen. They were men in a rush to achieve, and that's what men like to think they do. For instance, in my countless conversations with countless guys, only one man who ever identified himself on his page as a Bottom ever responded to me; Tops almost always did.

exact location, I could see him on a map, too, in the shape of a red pushpin.

I knew to expect only one thing when our dot and pushpin met: that the guy wouldn't look much like his tiny picture. But the Grindr team, in September, was launching a new app, Blendr—which was not just for gay guys but for Everybody.

Another took the time to text just one remark: "My bf will beat the shit out of me if he knows I'm talking to you." Which I found refreshingly concise, if vaguely unnecessary.

Others offered interviews in exchange for a quaint variety of carnal favors, which I graciously declined, as far as you know.

The Grindr users I knew and know had impeccable straight-dar.

22 Comments

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  2. I’ve had countless guys say there are NO girls in the bay and if there are, they don’t “try”… One could say that’s superficial, one could say, that’s life and aren’t we all trying to impress someone? I’ve had several girls say they feel judged if they wear heels or false eyelashes out. Down in LA, there are more people who are looking for any way to fame and fortune and “fake it til you make it” mentalities, and this is reflected to the general culture. NATURE As much as LA has been racking up points, SF should probably get like 10 extra points for this category.

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  5. Build Confidence By Holding Off On Exclusivity I know you like him and you feel like you may be ready to give him a life-long commitment, but are you really sure about that?

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