Although that practice is long gone, the attitudes behind it often remains. It will take you several years to thoroughly learn about the Mormon church and the effect it has on its members, exmos, and their families. I've technically been out of the church for about 3 years, but I'm just now starting to come to terms with the fact I'm a lesbian.
You and your partner should definitely consider therapy.
I really hope it doesn't come down to a choice between them/the cult and you.anyway, i'm sorry i couldn't be more helpful - just wanted to give you some solidarity from someone who has experience dating a mo as a non mo. Her mother is especially "righteous" and wants her to come back, I'm assuming with guilt, because of the "scriptures" she's sent my partner in text messages, and phone conversations about how she needs to live a righteous life.
Even then, many members are not going to be very accepting of gays, despite the new party line.
Many years ago there was a program at BYU to "shock the gay away" by using electrodes on young gay men's genitals.
I just can't picture being completley cut off from my family just because of the person I choose to love, but apparently, from what I've been reading, cutting people off because they don't "choose the right" seems to be the answer to alot of Mormons. I'm just looking for some outlets, or advice on how to go about working through these issues, and understanding all of tattedandsinful, i'm so sorry for you - and for her.
I can't give a firsthand gay perspective but I can give one being involved with someone I thought was exmo as well, but turns out he was what they call a jackmormon; someone who still believes but didn't currently attend church.
It might help you to realize that the level of control Mormonism exerts over its adherents is more akin to the Jehovah's Witnesses than any mainstream denomination. The Mormon church has just recently made its peace with the fact that some of its members are gay.
A person can be a member in good standing if they do not have a gay relationship, and especially not a sexual gay relationship (even within the bounds of marriage.) The church was heavily involved in the Prop 8 fight in California, and is opposed to gay marriage in Utah.
after he came out as mo to me (was craftily hidden for months) i got a crash course in what that meant.shunning is common.
this is a 'church' that interferes in politics to try and shut down gay marriage.
It's not unusual for TBM's to act like the member who is dating outside the church membership is going to burn in hell for 100 years just because of that.
Of course they are going to act like that over same sex relationships, the dumbasses.
I'm just trying to work through alot of the issues I'm having as her partner.