"Every time we'd make love, I'd think 'This feels so great – he must want to get back together with me.' And each time, I ended up hurt and disappointed, because all he wanted was the sex." The last time they slept together, Dave told her he was engaged to someone else."It was like a cold bucket of water in the face," Sharon remembers.And being single again means that you're going to face, in one way or another, the potential of new relationships and their inherent sexuality.
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And these will have a tremendous impact on how you perceive your sexual attractiveness and the way you interact sexually.
In addition, there's still a considerable divide between men and women with respect to sexual objectives and attitudes that govern sexual behavior.
And that won't happen until you and your ex can agree to stay out of each other's beds.
Sharon admits to having an on-again, off-again affair with her ex-husband, Dave, for four years after they split up.
Coping with divorce and the prospect of intimate sexual relationships thereafter is like having each foot in a different camp: which deserves the most attention?
The answer lies in finding the root that connects them both: in dealing with one issue, you ultimately find yourself dealing with both."It's a way to reassure themselves that they're still desirable," she says."Others are very cautious: they want to protect themselves from ever being hurt again.Many clients have told me they'd love to be in a relationship if there were a guarantee they wouldn't get hurt.But opening your heart to someone is a risk – and it's the risk you have to take if you want to be in a relationship." There's absolutely no doubt that the prospect of new sexual relationships is going to bring emotional issues related to your break-up to the forefront.It's a way of remaining in the safe, secure sexual environment we know and delaying the inevitable plunge into the unknown singles market.