The ultimate question: Is she programmed to repeat save broken men, or can she break the habit and rid herself of this self-destructive relationship approach?The answer is a full-throated, “Yes, she can change—but only with disciplined work and self-exploration.What I am having a hard time finding is the steps to recovery...... I've had enough of examples and "holy cow that's me" moments. Where are the tools and words of encouragement to get through the moments you may "relapse" from?
Now I'm realizing who I am, seeing similarities, and trying to find out how the H*LL I'm going to stop. Granted my good guy is a little anxious, and has gone through bouts of depression in HIS LIFE...
but on the whole-- he's not in need of rescuing now.
What I've found with many years of clinical experience is that a simple model can be used to help people change significant problems: Insight Behavior Change = Identity Change.
Accordingly, the way to change this dysfunctional relationship pattern is to first gain insight into how and why you feel the need to rescue wounded souls, and then engage in a series of new behaviors which will lead to a changed identity in your relationships.
You might even have to date a few crazy guys to learn what isn't good for you. Only in a race is there such a thing as a loser, so be nice to yourself in the way you think about yourself.
The impulse to help people isn't fundamentally bad... You simply need to seek out kind partners who are your equal, and don't give a second chance to a man who doesn't treat you well.In fact, at least part of the time I feel as if he has rescued me.Sometimes the path of figuring out a relationship with a partner involves figuring out what is good for you and what's not. If I'm quite attractive, intelligent, educated, and overall a desirable woman, is it just the fact that I picked such a mate what makes me a loser?Even as a little girl I always liked the wounded boys.Anyone from a broken home, mental disability or behaviour problems I was there trying to prop them up.What’s more, the love with a man who is emotionally whole wouldn’t seem like real love.