A few precious gems were legitimately nice and pleasant, but their presence in my inbox was so minuscule as to hardly be noticeable. I think this is on the way out, but it’s lingering. I am interested in historical records on some of the most pressing matters of our time.
If I didn’t have corrective contact lenses, I wouldn’t have even been able to see them. But whatever, you get my point.) These messages were like these little lifesavers thrown out to me, a person who was drowning in a cesspool of filth and sewage water, only to be just as quickly cast aside because, even though they were nice enough, relatively speaking, the guys who sent them were fifty-two years old or were self-described “fitness models” or went by the user name “Lets Fck Around.”Look, I know it isn’t easy out there for dudes, either. So guys have some pressure—they’re the ones who have to “make a move” and then just wait while my friends and I gasp and laugh and email each other the complete garbage they’ve just sent us. I am interested in the grouping and analysis of small disasters.
I’m a sucker for quizzes and I was trying to save people time. What this message really says is this: “Everyone I’ve ever met with characteristics similar to yours has repulsed me to my core. Teasing, sure—where would I be without teasing as flirtation tactic? There are some people for whom sending that first Ok Cupid message is like being a guy bird puffing out his chest to impress girl birds. I’m pretty sure that if I were a girl bird, and I was minding my own business and regurgitating food to my kids from my first bird marriage or something, and some guy bird came up to me with his feathers all puffed out and his eyes bulging, I’d be like, “Are you seriously hitting on me while I’m throwing up? Animal Planet seems to think this behavior has a pretty high success rate, and I think some of the males of our own species have taken note.
—but nothing on the level of the backhanded assholeish-ness that infiltrated my inbox from day one on Ok Cupid. Like I said, I know this is random, but I had to let you know. If you want though, you should look at my profile, I worked really hard on it, haha, but there is a lot of information on there, so only go read it if you enjoy reading or you could hate your life. Maybe because they can’t make a first impression with clothing or intensely acidic cologne, some of the men on Ok Cupid peacock in a different way: bragging.
It’s a thing you say to a woman if you are an asshole who believes that, ultimately, what women really want is for someone to be mean to them. Far be it from me to deny a lady a good blow to her self-esteem now and again, if she promises me that’s what she wants and she’s really okay and she agrees to come hang out with me later, just girls. Lo and behold, a few bravely delusional spirits soldier on.
I just feel pretty safe saying that, as a whole, humans don’t like when people are nasty to them. Sometimes it’s clear they know what they’re doing, which is the worst possible type of neg. I don’t know.) Sometimes it’s clear that they are just hapless goons.
But I am not talking about outlines or brief boilerplate messages. I am talking about excruciatingly detailed compliments. Just came across your post and really its seems to be very honest and clear i would surely like to know u better Well I am looking for a nice to be friends with and then take it from there and i really wanna take care of her I am pretty well off and well educated..i guess I know how to treat a woman . ” Perhaps not surprisingly, this message came from someone with whom I shared a higher enemy percentage than match percentage. He was like our Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but the opposite. “I’m just being real here, I know this is completely random and I know you have entirely no clue who I am, but I was looking through profiles and saw yours and I was blown away. Mean while showing my humorous side in our delightful conversation on things we’ve done and hope to accomplish in our futures.
I am talking about sickness—a viral kind of pathology that sneaks up on you, tells you you’re special, and then kills you. Nah, maybe we just meet up and dive into a grand discussion walking around Mall of America, grab some coffee or tea and possibly take in some people watching or I carry the bags while you shop.I realize that some of them know this is the case and just don’t care. i also must say that you have a stunning smile that would light up the darkest of nights & you look simply gorgeous in your pictures which i am sure do you no justice to how you look in person. Not just the good looking girl you see occasionally, I’m talking like the kind of beauty that you don’t EVER see. Hmm, maybe bribe her with the option of cooking food for her, starting with something grilled or possibly stir fried.I’ll even concede that writing messages to prospective girlfriends/boyfriends can be an intimidating business, and that having an outline of a message that works well for one’s personal style is not the gravest sin to ever be committed. coz i am a gentleman awaiting your reply....” We all got this message at least twice in our stays, of varying lengths, on Ok Cupid. He’s not just copy-pasting the same message to different people, he’s copy-pasting it to the SAME people, multiple times. i hope that you had a wonderful wednesday & hey i look forward to hearing back from a beautiful lady such as yourself ! You know how a person addicted to drugs knows his drugs, he knows the “good shit” from the “not-so-good shit”? Then pull out the cheesecake I made a few hours prior along with some yummy fruit toppings.I say “apparently” because I wouldn’t have known this was the case had I not signed up for Ok Cupid along with Jenna, and later my other friend Rylee, and watched with horror as our inboxes filled up with a not insubstantial number of the very same messages from the very same users. It’s that “right mind” part that really makes the difference, isn’t it?I might have noticed that there was something suspiciously hollow and generic about these messages, but I would have allowed my belief in the good of humanity to overrule the idea that anyone could be so gross as to think that blanket dating messages could work. I realize that these young men probably don’t consider the fact that the women they’re messaging might have persuaded a few of their friends to suffer along with them, and that in doing so they will surely be comparing messages. i must say that you seem like an intresting person from what i can tell from reading your profile and i would like to get to know you alittle better. Aside from the fact that I can’t imagine what one does to earn “kick ass” status as a son and a brother, this guy said he’d like for us to “get to know each other,” but then went on to describe only himself. Does he even care if I’m a kick-ass daughter and sister?? “Hello, so now I’m wondering how to entice a beautiful girl into responding to my email.It’s spitting in her face and then asking her out after.