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The longer and more intimate the relationship, the harder it is to process this news.When dealing with emotional wounds, and trying to save the relationship, a couple should consider seeking outside help first - despite any embarrassment.

With additional support, couples need to talk about their problems and how porn has affected the relationship with a non-judgmental third party.

A number of sex therapists from the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists are capable of handling such situations.

You suspect that much of what is being said these days are white lies.

Answers to your questions seem vague and nonsensical. Yet you are finding evidence of hiding, lying, and secretive behavior, including porn materials you didn't know about. He spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, often demanding privacy and/or changing his bedtime ritual. It may even be to the point you're wondering if his mental health is okay.

It is a horrible, powerful experience that rocks one to the core.

Stunned, overwhelmed and confused, many do not know what to do.If there is a problem, it will surface sooner or later.Whether a partner finds actual evidence, the user confesses, or somebody else - unintentionally or not - spills the beans, the one who has been wronged finally realizes what she's dealing with.They wish they had been able to solve the puzzle before their lives fell apart. Ignorant as to any issue, they trust their lover unconditionally.They assume their partner understands that using porn, at least beyond a magazine like Playboy, is the equivalent of having an actual affair.After all, porn is often recommended as one way lovers can be more intimate with each other.

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