Those positive contacts increase the chances that your partner will value you and feel closer to you.
If your partner doesn't have these beliefs and values, they will be less affected by your efforts, but they still may react positively because of the fact that it was a sign of caring. People who care about others, treat others well, and have good interpersonal skills will generally be more successful with others than people who don't.
People who are too aggressive, dominating, or distancing or people who are too passive, submissive, or dependent may generally have problems forming close relationships.
This continuum starts with strangers at the low end, then moves to casual friends, people who are close in only one or two specific areas, people who are close in many areas for a short time, and ends with those closest in many areas over a long time span.
They may be married, be close family members, or have an extremely close friendship.
(Don't use coercion to be together though, because coercion has huge negative affects often outweighing any positive effects of the shared time.) All relationships fall somewhere on the intimacy continuum.
To get closer and more intimate we must move along that continuum in our relationship with someone.
* More on Introductions * How To Be An Interesting Conversationalist: The Concept of Free Information * Establish Conversational Balance, Equality, and Intimacy * How personal/intimate is the topic * Establish Trust: Trust and Responsible Behavior Begets Trust * Are You Compatible Giving and Receiving Basic Information * Variables Affecting the Success of Any Relationship * Develop (And Practice) a Brief Meeting People Strategy * Asking Questions Effectively * Conversational Styles * Characteristics of intimate conversations * Drawing Your Partners Feelings Out * Romantic Conversations * Controversial Topics and Intimacy * Continuing A Successful Conversation: Develop your Internal Observer * Revealing Potentially Embarrassing Information * What If You Want to Date Someone Who Has a Lot More Experience than You * What To Do When You Can’t Think of Anything To Talk About * How to Win Friends, Influence People, and be Loved By Women: Empathetic Listening Skills * Empathetic Listening Skills as Conversation Generators * Non-Verbal Communication: Using Body Language to Build Closeness * The Importance of Physical Attractiveness * Problems With Your Physical Appearance * Physical Illnesses, Disability, or Similar Problems * Issues Related To Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) * Mild to Moderate Psychological Problems * Problems That Almost Always Destroy Relationships * The pace of the relationship.
What if you want to go slowly * What if one partner has a performance anxiety problem with sex When Jerry first came in for counseling, he was so shy that he couldn't even look at me and could only give one-line answers to questions.
Someone without those beliefs will have little reaction to receiving flowers or sitting by a fire.