Many therapists offer internet or telephone support. Do-it-yourself saves money on car washes, but might be stupid when it comes to healing from divorce. While in an overarching way He is completely “in control”, He also let go (in a sense) of that control so we could have free will. Because from that greatest evil came the greatest GOOD . Real love does not keep a child “safely” locked away from all pain. “God willed that mans should be ‘left in the hand of his own counsel,’ so that he might of his own accord seek his Creator and freely attain his full and blessed perfection by cleaving to him.” CCC 1730You’re not alone, we all struggle with forgiveness!
God does not WILL evil, but he PERMITS it, to safeguard the gift of our free will. But God also promises from the hurtful things that happen to bring forth a GREATER GOOD. Real love stands by faithfully, helping the child to grow from it. But when you learn more about this complex topic, and if you let God’s grace work in you, you’ll get there.
But a new relationship, a spending blitz, or a half-gallon of Haagen Dazs will only hurt you more in the long run. Check to see if there is a “Catholic Divorce Survival Guide” program available in your area. Maybe later you can facilitate a group in your parish.
Each situation will require certain steps but for most couples this is a time for patience, practical planning and doing the following: (1) Ask God to help you keep your primary focus on Him and His will for you. Over time they'll come back and the hurt will be recycled.
In a certain sense, the marriage--whether valid or not, salvageable or not--is secondary to your love for and faithfulness to God. Remember: If there's infidelity, addiction or other sinful behavior going on, refuse to let it back into your life and home. It means get help and let your intellect lead, not your emotions (fear, guilt, regret, etc.) (4) .
But when spouses separate or civilly divorce after forming emotional, sexual, financial, parental, social, and spiritual bonds—becoming “one”—they do not separate . Our goal is to help you discover the truth of your identity and your security. No one will experience divorce quite the same way you do. You could have risen to the top of the company and retired early, but not now.
No role in marriage (spouse or parent) should ever be the center of your life; that place is reserved for God alone. Most people enter marriage with still-unhealed wounds from their past. It may seem that ALL of life’s golden opportunities have passed you by. And on top of that you are alone to face caring for your children and your aging parents.
If there is no Decree of Nullity, the other person is still a spouse even if common life has ended. (2) Try to clearly identify how you two got to this point so that you can work to solve the crises.
Divorce is hard enough, but separation has its own unique pain because there's no finality, no apparent moving back or forward. The first thing to do is stay open to reconciliation, if possible. Many couples make a sincere effort to get back together, but their core problems have not been addressed.
Look for a reputable Catholic psychotherapist in your area ( Catholic ) but be smart: not all therapists are grounded in the faith or give sound advice. You may look at bad things and think they are the end, but wait and see what gifts can come from an evil like divorce.
However, God can use anyone of His choosing to help you, so keep asking Him for direction. how could a loving God let his only Son suffer and die that hideous death? When you send your kids off to school for the first time, you do not WILL their being bullied on the playground or other suffering, but you PERMIT it for a greater good: their growing up, learning, and becoming the man or woman God intended.
In the answers to the Common Questions, unless specifically addressing this issue,we assume that there has been both a civil divorce and a Catholic "annulment" (properly called a Decree of Nullity).